IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
