remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
