is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
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