ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Randomize
