The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Randomize
