Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
