Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Randomize
