Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I wish there were birth control emojis
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
