the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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