Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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