I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
