I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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