There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
and i looked up. we had an audience...
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
