brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Randomize
