After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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