"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
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