I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
