I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Randomize