did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
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