It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
third nipple confirmed
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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