are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
