it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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