hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Randomize
