Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
You were trust falling into bushes
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