Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
This is the high leading the old right now
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Randomize
