Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
