Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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