Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
