When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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