i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
