my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Randomize
