I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Randomize
