i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
