that's an acceptable place to lick
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
