i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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