Someone shit on the floor
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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