I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
it was like eating out sand paper
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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