so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
