i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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