Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
