"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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