If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Randomize
