We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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