I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
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