our cab driver is having phone sex.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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