My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize