So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
