At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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