My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
