He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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