So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize