We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
