..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
