I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Randomize
