you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
