My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
He? As in you personified your dick?
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize