So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
