so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
She even gives head with a lisp.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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