i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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