Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
